


Still I Find You Next to Me

by ailaikclarke



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Bisexual Kara Danvers, F/F, Lena Luthor & Maggie Sawyer Friendship, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor doesn't believe in soulmates, Minor Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Soulmate AU, SuperCorp, Supercorp endgame, supercorp au, supercorp soulmate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-05-05 00:13:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14604873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailaikclarke/pseuds/ailaikclarke
Summary: People can't see colour until they meet their soulmate, sort of. The Supercorp soulmate AU you've been waiting for, in which Lena doesn't believe in soulmates, while Kara is an hopeless romantic.ORAh, wait, you still don’t know how this works.Well, it’s actually pretty easy. We’re born without the ability of seeing colour and that changes only when we have a pivotal moment with our soulmate.So that means that finding your soulmate isn’t enough, you also have to have that special moment that makes them the right person for you. It can be a platonic soulmate, so those moments aren’t always romantic gestures. Most of the time it’s simple things, like buying coffee for the first time when they were always the ones doing it, or cooking tofu even though you’ve never had it before.





	1. Sunset Lover

**Author's Note:**

> I had to.

**KARA**

 

I have never seen colour.

Never in my life.

I do not know what me having light blue eyes means.

I do not know what my sister having brown hair means.

I do not know what trees being green means.

I know that my eyes sometimes resemble the sky. I know that sunrises make the sky turn orange and red. I know that the sky becomes sort of dark grey during a storm. I know that clouds are white, like paper. I know that snow is white and rain is transparent. I know that stars look yellow, but aren't actually yellow.

I’ve read books about colours, books that explain the different shades that can be found in the world and shades that our eyes cannot see. Eliza, my adoptive mother, used to describe colours to my sister and I when we were younger.

She’d tell us that her car was green and so was the grass in our garden. Two completely different shades of green, and to us it looked like her car was dark and the grass slightly lighter. Not that the walls of our house looked much different. Or her skin. Or the school bus.

Everything sort of looks the same when you see the world in black and white.

Black and white are the only colours I know.

I don’t feel like I need to see colour in order to be completely happy, but I do wish I could see the colour of the sky changing during the sunset or while it snows.

My sister, on the other hand, complains a lot about not seeing colour. J’onn, who does, keeps telling her that it wouldn’t change much her way of living, considering that she only wears black clothes. He’s still impressed at how well I somehow manage to create my colourful outfits and I have to admit I have no idea how I do it.

Thankfully for me, most of the people around me still think that the sky is white and the ground is black, so I don’t feel left out. I am not constrantly reminded that the world is actually drastically different from what I see.

Ah, wait, you still don’t know how this works.

Well, it’s actually pretty easy. We’re born without the ability to see colour and that changes only when we have a pivotal moment with our soulmate.

So that means that finding your soulmate isn’t enough, you also have to have that special moment that makes them the right person for you. It can be a platonic soulmate, so those moments aren’t always romantic gestures. Most of the time it’s simple things, like buying coffee for the first time when they were always the ones doing it, or cooking tofu even though you’ve never had it before.

It depends.

I've heard of people seeing colours when their soulmate proposed to them, and others seeing it while sharing a grilled cheese. J'onn said it was when his wife told him she was pregnant, while Eliza said it was during a pretty heated fight. So, yeah, it depends.

Today, I’m having lunch with Lena and we’re discussing a new project she’s been working on. Well, she’s talking about it and I’m listening and nodding frequently.

“It’s so hard to work on new technologies when the whole world thinks that you’re going to do something evil and destroy humanity.” She sighs. “Let’s not think about that anymore. Can I ask you a question?”

I nod while taking a bite off my sandwich.

“You’ve told me that your mother used to describe colours to you when you were younger. Is there something she missed? Have you ever seen something and thought that you had absolutely no idea what colour it was?”

Well, that’s a nice question, but I’ve never really thought about it.

“Now that I think about it, yes. Sand. I believe it’s light, so it’s probably pink? Maybe yellow? I have no idea. Ah, and cabbage. I’m assuming it’s green, though, vegetables are usually green, right? What about you?”

“Pomegranates and I’m not sure why and lilies.” She tells me. “And, uh, my eyes.”

I find myself gasping at her last statement. “You don’t know what colour your eyes are?”

She shakes her head. “I think my birth mother told me, but I can’t remember. I know they’re light, I just don’t know what colour.”

“That’s really odd, but fascinating at the same time.”

“You have a weird idea of what fascinating means.” She says. “And remember that my mother never really described what the world looks like, mainly because she doesn't know. I had to find out by myself, researching on the internet and reading tons of books about colour. The truth is that reading a paragraph of what the colour red looks like isn’t the same as seeing a bright red apple in real life.”

“I know.” I whisper. “The time will come for us. The both of us.”

“Not everyone has a soulmate.” She sighs. “I honestly believe Luthors don’t.”

“Your father did.”

“He was different.” She replies. “He wasn’t an exceptionally good man, but he most definitely wasn’t the typical Luthor. My mother has never seen colour in her life, and neither has my brother.”

“You’re not the typical Luthor either.” I tell her. “You might have their last name, but you’re nothing like them. You know that.”

“Sometimes I forget.”


	2. I'm Fine

**LENA**

 

Soulmates are weird.

I don’t really believe in them and that’s why I am not expecting to find mine. I usually tell people I think I am not meant to have one, but the truth is that I think they don’t exist.

How can someone be linked to somebody else in such a life-changing way?

What I do believe is that there’s one person in the world with the power of making another person see colour. I also think that we’re drawn to believe that it’s our soulmate simply because it’s the person who literally coloured our world. I can understand why that would make someone think that they’re in love.

I don’t want my life to be dictated by some weird quest to find true love. If I were to never see colour, I’d be fine.

Maggie and I have been talking about this for hours now and I can see that the sun is about to rise. For some strange reason, she does believe in soulmates.

“I know you have a crush on her.”

Maggie is looking at me like I just cursed in front of a toddler. “I do not.”

“What’s the point in lying?”

She shrugs. “I am not lying, I don’t have a crush on her.”

“If you’re pretending like you don’t simply because you’re not sure she’s gay… I call bullshit. I mean, have you seen her?”

Maggie laughs at my statement. “Weren’t you the one against stereotypes?”

“Ah, it’s fine when a queer person says it.”

She smiles. “You would electrocute me if I said that.”

I would. I definitely would. But that is not the point. “Just ask her out, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“She might say no!”

“I thought you were some kind of badass policewoman.” I sigh. “Turns out you can’t even ask a girl out.”

She groans before replying. “Do you want to talk about James?”

“I do not.”

Maggie definitely knows how to make me stop bothering her.

“It might make you feel better.” She says, tilting her head to one side.

“Screw that, you only want to make fun of me.”

She’s trying hard to hide the grin on her face, but it’s pointless. “I want to know why you broke up with that perfect guy.”

“I feel bad enough without you telling me about how perfect he is.”

“But it’s true and I need to know why you did it.”

Might as well. “Because I have feelings for somebody else.”

“Feelings?” She smiles. “Lena Luthor, you surprise me.”

Here come the fun times. “Why? I have experience many feelings in my life.”

“Yes, mostly anger and disappointment, but that’s understandable.”

“That is so not true.” I scoff. “I’ve experienced love and a lot of other feelings before.”

“I know you have.” She says in a serious tone. “I simply believe that anger and disappointment are your main emotions and it makes complete sense to me.”

“Is it because I am a Luthor?”

Maggie grins at me. “It might be the first time I say this but, yes, it is because you are a Luthor.”

“You forgot hate, I have experienced hate before.” I tell her. “I hate you.”

She flashes me a cheeky smile. “You love me.”

“I don’t, Sawyer. I don’t.”

“I promised I’d remind you of when we told your mother that we met at a support group for gay people with shit parents whenever you’re being difficult.” She says and I can’t help but laugh at her statement.

“I am not being difficult, you are.” I reply. “You won’t admit that you have feelings for her.”

“Alright, I’ll say it, even though I know you only want to talk about this because you’re not willing to tell me about who you have feelings for.”

“I’m waiting, Sawyer.”

She takes a deep breath. “I have a dumb crush on Alex Danvers.”

Alex Danvers is Kara’s sister and perfect woman for Maggie. I’ve seen her like four times maybe, but I can tell she’s just perfect for Maggie. I have talked to Kara about this and she laughed so hard she almost fell off her chair, but she had to admit that it made sense. She did say they would be good together.

Her reaction made me stop worrying about Alex not being gay.

“It’s not dumb.”

“It is, because she’s straight and I can’t handle that.”

“Or maybe she’s gay and you’ll end up being happily in love.” I tell her. I can’t exactly tell her that I’ve talked to Kara about it and she’s told me that Alex is a lesbian.

“What if she’s gay but she’s not my soulmate?”

Again with this bullshit.

“Alright, first of all you know well enough that I don’t believe in soulmates. And I don’t recall soulmates minding much while we were younger and you were such a player.”

I can’t believe we’ve known each other for long enough for me to remember how she was like in High School. And we didn’t even go to the same one!

“How dare you! I was never a player.”

I am not even going to say anything about this. She was a player and I clearly remember a few times when I had to save her from a fight because she slept with two sisters. Oh, and that time when I had to go and pick her up from a girl’s house because a different girl stole her bike and she had no way of going home.

“Sure, sure… If you say so.” I smirk. “You tried to get me in bed.”

“And I failed miserably and it cost me quite a bit.”

“Not my fault if people thought you were a loser for trying to fuck a Luthor.” I tell her.

“I still remember people saying that I was too poor to have a chance with you.”

“And I remember people saying that you were probably on drugs to even think about bedding a _Luthor_.”

“People are weird.”

“No, people are mean and judgy.” I reply.

“And they were wrong.”

“Well, only partially. We didn’t fuck, but it definitely wasn’t because you were too poor.”

“And neither because you were a Luthor.”

 

 


	3. My Truth

**KARA**

 

So, my sister started seeing colours a few days back.

_It’s a normal day at the DEO._

_My sister and I are on the field, and the police is there as well._

_My sister hates it whenever they’re working where we are, because they annoy her._

_Alex screams and, in a second, I’m next to her. She doesn’t look hurt or anything, but she’s definitely in shock._

_And so is the woman standing in front of her._

_I’m pretty sure my sister just found her soulmate and is now seeing colour._

_“Alex?”_

_I don’t even think she can hear me. She slowly turns around and I am feeling scared._

_“It’s blue.” She says. “Your suit. I thought it was black, but that’s not black. It’s blue.”_

_Yes, she can definitely see colour._

_“Alex! You can see colour!”_

_“I can see colour and it’s mesmerising.”_

_And yet, the first thing she noticed about me is that my suit is blue and not black. How does she know what blue looks like?_

_“Also, you apparently found your soulmate.” I say and the woman just stares at me._

_“Ah, yes.” She quickly says. “I’m Maggie. Maggie Sawyer.”_

_“Nice to meet you, Maggie.”_

_Too bad she doesn’t know that I’m her soulmate’s sister. Of all moments I could have been wearing my suit._

And now she won’t stop talking about it. And about Maggie. And I am tired, of everything, of everyone.

My sister told me everything there is to know about Maggie and she explained how they have worked together a few times and used to make fun of each other. When I asked her what their pivotal moment had been, she started laughing and couldn’t stop for several minutes.

Turns out their pivotal moment was when Maggie said: “See you around, Danvers”.

It has to be one of the weirdest pivotal moments I’ve ever heard of. To each their own, I suppose.

I am happy for her, of course I am, but I am starting to feel like I won’t ever get to experience that moment. I am afraid I’ll never know what the world actually looks like.

It might even be that my work as Supergirl has been kind of boring in the past few weeks, and stopping burglaries just isn’t my thing. With not much crime around, my work as a reporter sort of sucks as well and I have a lot of time to think about how I am twenty-six and feeling like I’m not worth it because I haven’t found my soulmate yet.

I am young, and still have time.

Plus, I age a lot slower than humans, so that might affect it as well.

I don’t care, I will find my soulmate, maybe I already have. Alex and Maggie had known each other for months before it actually happened.

I need to stop being dramatic. But then, Lena Luthor is my best friend, making it quite hard not to be dramatic.

You know what? I’m going to text her and whine because my sister is annoying and I know Lena understands me.

 

 **Kara [2.12]** I can’t do it anymore  
**Lena [2.24** ]You tell me, Maggie is ANNOYING. Maybe I should show her my lab and  have her disappear. No one will know.  
**Kara [2.26]** My sister will know! And NO, DON’T!  
**Lena [3.41]** But she’s annoying and I can’t stand it. She’s so in love. UGH.  
**Kara [4.01]** Stop pretending like you’re heartless, nobody believes it. Up for Chinese tonight?          
**Lena [4.17]** Can I actually say no?  
**Kara [4.20]** I don’t know. What do you think?  
**Lena [4.48]** I’ll see you later, then. Eight at my place.

 

So that’s how I found myself at Lena’s house, eating Chinese food while talking about soulmates.

“I don’t think I need to see colours, though.”

“Don’t you wish you could see what the world looks like?”

“I can still see it, even if I don’t see colour.”

“What about a soulmate?”

“Honestly? I don’t believe in soulmates.”

“What? I thought you did?”

“I do in the sense that I realize that there is someone out there that triggers our ability to see colour, but I do not believe that there’s a perfect someone for everyone.” She says.

“I do, it makes me feel safe.”

“I can see why it would.” She tells me. “I guess you’ve always been the romantic one.”

“While you believe in science, in what you see.”

“Yes, that’s one way to put it.”

“Of course, you’re also the dramatic one and that makes it a bit harder to believe that there’s a happy ending for everyone.”


	4. You Were The Light

**KARA**

“I feel like I should be able to see colour, you know?” I sigh.

“You tell me.” Lena sighs back. “Maggie’s been bugging me for weeks about it and I can’t seem to know how to make her stop.”

“My sister’s the same.” I tell her. “I wonder if it’ll ever stop.”

“Knowing the both of them, I’m afraid it won’t.”

She’s right. My sister and Maggie are soulmates and it shows. “I could maybe lie to them.”

“And leave me to suffer? Plus, how would you lie to them? You can’t fake seeing colour.”

“I know, I’m desperate for a solution.” My phone goes off as I sigh loudly once more and I can’t believe it’s my sister. “My sister told me she needs me. If this is about colours again, I will punch her into another dimension.”

“You should hire Supergirl for that, I’m sure she’d help.” Lena says and I can feel my blood freeze in my veins. “I wonder if she can see colour.”

I wish I could tell her that no, Supergirl does not see colour.

My sister looks worried. And angry. How can someone be angry and worried at the same time?

“I need to talk to you.” She says, the moment I’m close enough.

“What about?”

“It’s… A sensitive matter.”

If this is all a joke and she’s going to talk to me about some weird colour I cannot see, I swear I am punching her into another dimension. “What’s up?”

And now she looks uncomfortable. “So, you know about that incident the other night?”

An explosion at a fundraiser, nothing major, a few people were injured.

“Yes.”

“And you do remember how Lena was supposed to be there?”

“Yes, thank Rao she cancelled.”

“And then she was meant to meet you.” My sister says. “But she got sick and cancelled.”

What is going on?

“What are you trying to tell me?”

She looks hesitant. “We think she was behind it.”

I can’t believe her. “Alex, she’s your friend.”

“That doesn’t make her a saint.” She replies. “We have reason to believe she was behind it.”

“I’m going to talk to her.”

And then I’m back in L-Corp, floating over Lena’s office. My eyes are closed and I’m waiting for the right moment to descend and make my presence known.

When my feet touch the ground, I realise that I don’t even know what I’m supposed to tell her.

“Supergirl, hi.” She says, opening the door.

I was here twenty minutes ago, as her best friend, and I’m now here to accuse her.

“Lena.”

She knows that something’s up.

“What’s wrong?”

“There was an explosion the other night.” I tell her. “At a fundraiser you were invited to, but didn’t attend.”

The look of disappointment in her eyes feels like a knife in my chest. It’s true, I don’t know what her eye colour is, I can’t really tell what they look like, but they speak to me. I already know that she has extremely expressive eyes. “And you think it was me.”

“I don’t.”

“What is this about, then?” She asks, her eyebrow raised. “Is it the DEO?”

I don’t even want to ask her how she knows about the DEO, so I nod instead.

“I was with Kara Danvers that night.”

Except that she wasn’t.

“Are you sure about that?”

“If you’re here to accuse me of something, please go ahead.” She says, her voice flat. “It’s not like I expected a Super to trust me.”

I don’t even know how to respond.

“This is not because you’re a Luthor.”

“Isn’t it?” She asks. “It always is because I am a Luthor.”

“Or maybe it is because it was Morgan Edge’s fundraiser and you two have history?” I point out. “Or because of the whole Reign affair? And the hidden kryptonite?”

She’s silent for a moment. “I believe you told me we have a clean slate.”

“We do.” I tell her.

She closes her eyes. “But you don’t trust me.”

“I never said I don’t.”

“Tell me you do, then.”

I can tell by the look in her eyes she knows I can’t.

“Is that why you sent James to check my vault? Because asking me wasn’t enough anymore?”

“I…”

“He told me you sent him.” She says. “He told me about being Guardian and then that you sent him to check if there was any Kryptonite left.”

Her voice is what gets me the most. It’s cold, and yet I can tell that she’s hurt. I know she’s trying hard not to show her emotions, but I know she’s suffering because of this.

“I had to make sure.”

“My words should be enough.” She says, her voice bitter. “They used to be enough.”

“They are, they normally are.” I tell her. “That time was… Out of the ordinary.”

“Why, exactly?”

“Because you’d been lying for weeks and Kryptonite can possibly kill me, Lena.”

I can tell that she knows I’m right. The truth is that the both of us are right, in different ways, but neither of us can accept it. She lied about Reign and Kryptonite and… Well, I’m lying about my true identity.

 

 


	5. Bloom

**LENA**

I’m looking over some paperwork when Jess calls me to tell me that James asked to see me. I’m not sure if I should tell him to come see me in here or if I should to CatCo myself.

I end up going to CatCo, because that’s what I always do.

He’s waiting for me in his office, looking happy and holding two cups of coffee. “Good morning!”

He’s way too cheerful today. “Hello, James. You’re looking awfully giddy today.”

“That’s because I can tell you that you’re skin is extremely pale, looks almost like milk.”

I’m confused. “My skin makes you happy?”

He smiles, shaking his head. “No, but seeing its colour does.”

“You can see colour?” Of course he can.

“Yes.” He smiles again. “And it’s so beautiful.”

I know that colour is beautiful. I know, because people around me keep saying so.

“I’m happy for you.” I whisper.

Am I, though?

I decide I am.

“How’s your love life going?” He asks, noticing that I’m lost in my thoughts.

My love life.

How is that going?

“Well, I have no love life.”

“Is there anyone you might want to talk to me about?”

He sounds like he’s not really asking me, almost as if he knew already that there is someone.

“It’d be pointless.”

“Talk to me.”

“Having a soulmate bothers me.” I tell him. “The idea of having to love someone who was basically assigned to me makes me sick. Why can’t I simply love who I want to?”

He smiles. “You can.”

“Not really.”

“You don’t know who your soulmate is.” He comments. “You can fall in love with whomever you like and, if it’s meant to be, you’ll end up seeing colours. If it’s not, you won’t.”

“What if I fall for someone and then have my heart broken because of this soulmate bullshit?”

“What if you fall for someone and then live happily ever after because of this soulmate bullshit?”

James is a dreamer.

Much like Kara.

It was one of the things that made me think I had a crush on him.

The main reason why we started dating.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was searching for her in his eyes.


	6. Cold Morning

I haven’t seen Lena in a few days.

I texted her and asked her if she wanted to meet me for lunch, but she said she’s busy with meetings and her new project. She also mentioned yelling at Supergirl and said it wasn’t the proudest moment of her life.

Of course I had to pretend like I didn’t know what she was talking about and she explained she got in a fight with Supergirl and it escalated into something she regrets deeply.

I feel weird about this whole situation and I just want to go back to where we were before that night.

So, maybe, I should go and visit her.

As Kara, of course.

I’m sure she’s not ready to see Supergirl yet.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to fall asleep in here anymore.” Is the first thing I tell her.

Her head snaps to my direction. “It happened. What time is it?”

“Almost two a.m.”

“How did you know I was here?”

I am distressed about our fight and was flying around to clear my head when I saw you asleep in your office and decided to come to see you. “I wanted to see you.”

“At two a.m? Couldn’t it wait until tomorrow morning?”

“Jess called me.” I tell her. “She said you’ve been… Different, lately.”

“Different.” She repeats. “How so?”

“She said you’re basically living here and never leave L-Corp if it’s not strictly necessary, that you never sleep and often forget to eat and that she has to bring you food our you’d starve. She told me you drink unhealthy amounts of coffee and scotch when you’re done working. So, like, at four in the morning.”

“That is not me being different.” She says. “That’s me being me.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Well, it was the same when I had Sam here. Did she call you then as well?”

“She didn’t and that’s telling me something.” I whisper. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I simply enjoy working and have nothing else to do in life.”

“Lena, talk to me, please.”

She seems to be thinking about it, then nods. “I really don’t want to be mad. I feel like a clueless child, but I can’t help it.”

“Feelings are unpredictable.” I tell her.

“I’d say people are unpredictable.”

I don’t understand what’s bothering her. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I had this speech prepared, I imagined myself yelling obscenities, but the truth is that I can’t. I can’t because I feel stupid, I feel like I shouldn’t be angry.” She says.

She closes her eyes for a moment, and takes a deep breath.

“I’ve known that you’re Supergirl for months.” She says, and I can’t breathe. “I thought you had your reasons for not telling me, and I respected your wishes. I figured you were trying to protect me, knowing well enough that not many people know about your secret identity. It’s secret for a reason, after all.”

She smiles tiredly, and I know that there’s more.

“The other night, Supergirl came to see me.” She continues. “As it turns out, she doesn’t trust me. I guess I always knew that she would never trust me, but then I found out that you were her, and thought I had a chance.”

She looks sad now.

“I figured since we are best friends, you’d trust me, at all times.” She whispers. “Not only when I’m Lena and you’re Kara, but when I’m a Luthor and you’re Supergirl, too.”

I do, I really do.

“Because in the end, you’re Kara and Supergirl, and I’m Lena and a Luthor.” She comments. “We can’t really pretend like those are two separate identities. So, when you came here, and blamed me for the attack, I felt like it wasn’t fair.”

She’s silent.

Looking at me.

“I am Supergirl.” I tell her. “And I am Kara as well. And you’re right, we can’t live our lives pretending that we can separate those two identities. The truth is that Supergirl doesn’t work alone. When I’m her, I have to follow the rules. I have to do what my boss asks me to do. It’s true, most of the time I have to do the dirty work, but I didn’t want to come here. I really didn’t want to. Because, even though all the signs pointed at you, I still saw you as the kinder person in the world. I still thought it was impossible for you to be behind those attacks.”

“You still came, though.”

“I had to.” I explain. “Why did you tell me that you were with me that night if you knew that it was a lie?”

She shrugs. “I wanted to see how you’d react.”

“What were you actually doing?”

She inhales sharply. “I’m researching the whole seeing colour thing, but it’s supposed to be a secret project.”

“Why?” I ask her.

“Because I want to understand if the connection I’m feeling right now has something do with it, or if I’m simply going insane.”

It’s two in the morning, but I suddenly feel like the sun is shining outside. The room feels to bright, even though there’s only one light switched on. My eyes are burning, and something’s really wrong.

It takes me a full minute to realize what’s happening.

The room didn’t get brighter.

The sun is not shining.

I’m seeing colour, and Lena’s eyes are the most beautiful shade of colour I’ve ever seen.


	7. Green

Kara looks like she’s about to faint.

She’s closed her eyes a few times, and is now looking around.

She looks like she’s scanning the room, looking curiously at everything around us.

She keeps scratching her eyes, almost as if the non-existent sun was blinding her in some way.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “You’re not…”

“I’m not what?”

She stares at me. I can see a single tear streaming down her face, but she looks frozen. I walk closer to her, suddenly feeling worried.

“Kara, what’s wrong? Please, talk to me.”

“You know we talked about colours in the past.” She says and I nod. “We haven’t really see them, so we can only imagine what they look like.”

“Yes.”

“You know I told you my mother explained colours to me, but that they never really made sense because I couldn’t picture what the sky being blue meant?”

Again, I nod.

“Your eyes are green.” She whispers. “My mother’s described green to me many times, and I guess I associated it with a feeling. She used to tell me that she’d associate green with the smell of a pine, a forest of pines, and I’d often find myself wandering around forests and smelling the trees, learning what green smelled like. The same feeling I felt when all these colours came to me, and the first I saw was the green of your eyes.”

Kara is seeing colour.

I can’t breathe.

“My mother told me about eyes a long time ago.” She explains. “She told me about how they change colour when the sun hits them, especially when they’re light, like yours and mine. She told me about all the different shades my eyes went through, and I couldn’t help but wonder how amazing it would have been to see it for myself.”

What’s happening?

“I’ll have to google it, but I’m pretty sure that your eyes are green.” She says. “And the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

She’s quietly staring at me, but I have no idea what I should say.

Kara is seeing colour.

My eyes are _green_.

“I’m assuming you can’t see colour.” She whispers after a while.

I shake my head, looking down. “I cannot.”

The world is still black and white for me.

I wish I could tell her I can see her eyes. Or her hair, her skin. I wish I could tell her I know for sure that she’s wearing a blue blouse instead of having to wonder if I can recognize colours even in a world of shades of black.

“What does that mean?” She asks. “Can you be my soulmate if I’m not yours?”

Apparently.

“I don’t know if that prospect sounds shittier for you or for me.” I tell her.

“What do we do?” She asks. “Maybe I’ve had my pivotal moment and you haven’t. Maybe it’ll come.”

“Or maybe I’m broken.” I whisper.

She’s standing in front of me, unable to move. “Please, look at me.”

I am Kara Danvers’ soulmate.

I am Supergirl’s soulmate.

She’s looking at me and telling me that I have green eyes. I don’t even know what green is like.

“It was unfortunate to have your pivotal moment at night.” I tell her. “You’re missing all the nice colours outside.”

“Does it matter?” She asks.

“I don’t know.” I whisper. “Does it?”

She closes her eyes for a moment, and still looks surprised when she opens them back up. “I thought the whole thing about soulmates was seeing colour. Yes, I knew that it also meant that I’d be finding the person I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life, but I felt like seeing the world in colour mattered more.”

I nod.

“Seeing the world in black and white made me feel like I was seeing less than half of it. I was sure colours would change everything.” She continues. “The truth is that it hasn’t changed that much. Sure, there aren’t many colours for me to see in here, but I still feel like it’s the same.”

I’m confused.

“Your eyes are on a whole different level, and I’m not saying that in some kind of movie cliché way. They’re… I don’t even know how to explain it, they make me feel things.” She says, and I can’t help but smile at her. “The connection you were talking about earlier, I think I was feeling it too. Possibly trying to hide it from myself and other people, but it was there. With me seeing your eyes at their finest, I think I can’t deny it anymore.”

I find myself speaking. “You feel it, too?”

“I do.” She nods. “And I know you might think it is simply because I’m seeing colour, but I promise it’s not. It was there, it was there even when I couldn’t see the real beauty of your eyes. Or the fairness of your skin. Or how dark your hair actually is. Colour didn’t matter before, and it doesn’t matter now. It only makes me see things more clearly.”

I’m silent for a moment. “People always tell me how pale I look.”

“I can see why.” She smiles at me. “Vampire pale.”

I can’t wait until I get to see those ocean blue eyes of hers.

 


	8. Yellow

Colours are weird.

My mother was right, green does look like pines smell.

The sky is blue, but my eyes are a different shade, darker than the morning sky, but lighter than its late afternoon counterpart.

Turns out that sand is yellowish, and cabbage is green. My sister told me there’s a kind that’s actually purple.

This morning, I took my time and flew around, looking at all the small things I got used to seeing everyday. I touched the grass, flew above the ocean, walked in a field of sunflowers. I sat in a forest, ran on the beach and touched snow.

It was riveting.

It all felt surreal, almost as if this was just a dream. Tomorrow is going to be black and white again.

I went to see my sister and told her about what had happened. She was excited about me seeing colour, but she seemed worried about Lena still seeing everything in black and white. She says she doesn’t know how that happened but, if anyone was to find out how, it was Lena herself. She told me not to worry, that it might take her longer. She told me we might share different pivotal moments, which would make a lot of sense.

“She’ll be okay.” My sister says.

I nod. I know she will. “I’m scared.”

“It’s going to happen soon.”

“What if it happens in twenty years? What if Lena has to wait forty years before seeing how beautiful the sunrise is once it has colour?”

My sister looks down. “We have no way of knowing when it’ll happen, but we know for sure that it will.”

“How are we sure?”

Alex shrugs. “We are sure  because I have never heard of someone not seeing colour once they found their soulmates.”

I’m going to see her later tonight, and I wish I could take away the sadness that I saw in her eyes last night. It’s not fair.

It’s really not.

We should be sharing this moment.

We should be happy together, not miserable because it worked on me alone.

I’m flying over National City, looking at the sky. Clouds have always fascinated me, and I find myself loving them even more now that I can see them in the blue sky. Before last night, they looked like white pieces of cotton in a sea that was a light shade of grey. Everything was a shade of grey.

I’ve seen so many things today, but I can’t keep my mind off of Lena’s eyes. They’re truly magical, and I’m glad they were the first thing I saw last night. I’m glad I’ll have that imagine in my mind forever, and nothing is ever going to take it away from me.

When the sun is about to set, I decide it’s time for me to go visit Lena. I’m sure she’s still at L-Corp, and I don’t even have to text her to know that I’m right.

She joins me in the balcony when she sees me flying there. She smiles, but looks tired.

“Been exploring?” She asks.

I nod. “Yeah. I flew around all day long.”

“Anything particular?”

“I saw the beach, finally learning that the sand is yellow. Golden, even. I went to see the forest, to see for myself if green does look like pines smell. Turns out that it actually does.”

She smiles. “I’m glad.”

She looks like she’s given up on herself, but is honestly happy for me. It breaks my heart.

“I brought you a sunflower.” I tell her, handing her the flower I picked up for her earlier this morning.

She looks at it for a moment, looking frozen in place. She closes her eyes, then opens them back up and looks at me.

She inhales sharply, then grins at me. “Yellow.”


End file.
